my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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