Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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