omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
