My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
PANTIES FOUND
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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