i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
