I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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