he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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