in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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