who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
