sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize