Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
