Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
