I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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