I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
where are you?
Hypothermia
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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