So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
