i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
