apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
