I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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