I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize