I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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