I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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