for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
