Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
