just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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