READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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