someone threw a dead crab at me
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it hurts more in the daytime
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
