She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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