hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
