Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
