He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
