The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
