I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
