No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's blow job season.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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