She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
