My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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