I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
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Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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