I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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