i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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