Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
