Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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