I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
