The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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