Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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