I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
