3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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