Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
