people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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