He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I need a beard to bite.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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