Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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