"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
