my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
