i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
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hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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