his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize