just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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