i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
