shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
