whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize