Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
