we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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