There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
